I’ve had this cracked tooth for over 4 years. Over time, it’s chipped away to almost nothing. And, sometime in January, it finally started to cause me some discomfort. Well, sometime on Tuesday, what was once discomfort and a throbbing, dull pain became a sharp spike of torture. It was like a group of leprechauns decided to commemorate St. Patrick’s Day by doing the River Dance in the nerve bed of my left jaw wearing golf cleats. I originally told my wife that it was like someone had rented a backhoe and was digging away at my face.

Anyways, I went into the dentist yesterday afternoon, laid down $120 bucks, and they didn’t do anything but point out the obvious. “Your tooth is a wreck. It’s all gone.” No, really? How long did you go to dentistry school? “Well, Mr. Short, we can do a root canal and cap that off for ya, it’ll only be around $900 bucks. But, we’ll be able to save your tooth.”

Are you kidding me? I came in your office today looking like the Mascot of Walmart on purpose. It was to demonstrate that I’m not your typical, run of the mill, Lexus driving, yuppie, soccer mom client with a disposable income and a dental card. I’m poor. I’m skipping my car payment to get you just to point out the obvious fact that over 2/3 of my tooth is missing! Give me a frickin’ break.

Needless to say, I paid that jerk-wad to tell me something that a 4 year old could plainly see. And, he referred me to a decent man who extracted my tooth this morning for the median cost of $400. Awesome. I’m feeling awesome now. I can’t pay my car payment, electricity bill, Dish, or phone/internet. But, I can stop the endless cycle of Larry King live and the O’Reilly Factor that I’ve been stuck on for the past week. Don’t get me wrong, I’d never trade my newly found oral comfort for $500. But I think things are going to get real interesting when the bills come due in the next week.

Alrighty then, I’m going to go take a Lortab and finally go to sleep… and sleep the whole night through. I’m not trying to turn my blog into a telethon, but I’d appreciate your prayers. Thanks.

You have a new friend request on Facebook. When you first see the name, your initial reaction is “Who in the Jack?”, but then you check the picture and immediately recognize the girl/guy from the party/social function last weekend.

Now, your initial instinct is probably just to add this person without giving it a second thought. Resist this temptation. No matter how cool they seemed at first, this person may still turn out to be a DBag, and you don’t want to just let any DB leave you birthday wall posts or make comments on out-of-context photos of you from years before you met them. Check for the warning signs:

Do they have one or more lines from John Lennon’s “Imagine” in their quotes section?
That song sucks harder than a jet pump on a hot tub. There, I said it. Okay, it’s catchy and has a positive message and whatever, but I can’t possibly be the only person on the planet who thinks the lyrics sound like the sentiments of a ninth grader who just got high for the first time.

“You might say that I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one.”

Whoa. I am floored by your vague idealism, man. Give me a stinking break.

Do you believe in ghosts? Because if I die and you decide to make a slideshow of my life and set it to “Imagine” at my funeral, I will come back from beyond the grave to scare the living crap out of you every time you wash your hands in a public place.

Is their profile picture a blurry snapshot of them playing the bass in what appears to be a high school auditorium?
This one should probably be self-explanatory. It could have been any instrument really, but I went with the bass. Don’t take it personally.

Is their profile picture a snapshot of them holding a camera in a mirror, showing off their abs?
If I have to explain this, you too are a DBag.

Have they used their “About Me” section to place a free personal ad?

I’m a warm-hearted, hard-working, laidback, easygoing, outgoing, personable, down-to-earth guy who loves to have a good time. I love my friends and family and my job and my dog. I’m relatable and approachable and I’m an excellent conversationalist. I’m always interested in meeting new people who are cool.

Other common adjectives include “chill,” “honest,” and “easy to talk to.” Let me guess: you hate it when people are fake. I can’t tell whether you’re desperately lonely or running for public office. I’m not sure if you noticed this, but the section where you listed your turn-ons is called “Interests.”

Do they use complete sentences to fill out each section?

You are listing things that you like. You really don’t need to get all proper on us. If your favorite music section involves an apology for half the bands on it (“I loooooove LL Cool J and I don’t care what anyone thinks. Also I like Aqua I am a dork lol ”) then you are almost certainly a DBag.

Do they advertise every embarrassing detail of their failed romances in the status section?

Last year I had the unique opportunity to observe a bitter status battle between two recently broken-up acquaintances. It was fascinating from an anthropological standpoint.

Boy X has fallen and landed on his heart and it hurts bad.
Girl Y is sorry it had to be this way.
Boy X has decided it’s her loss.
Girl Y doesn’t love you anymore and wishes you could just accept that.
Boy X ACCEPT THAT?! HOW COULD I F@#$@G ACCEPT THAT??!?

And so went the bitter argument for several days, and thanks to Facebook, they were able to broadcast it to every person they’d ever met who happened to own a computer, including me. Thanks a lot.

Is their name Les?
This is more of a personal jab at someone I know who’s a total Douche that’s named Les, but most everyone I know named Les, regardless of who they are, were DB’s. So, I guess we can make this a general tip. I know, it’s a bit questionable. But, I’m sure this theory holds water. If not, let me know.

Do they have the copied lyrics of any significant number of boring radio rock songs posted in their notes?

It’s not that song lyrics have never affected me on a really personal level before. It’s just that none of them have been by the Killers.

Is their quotes section crammed with out-of-context inside jokes?

These can be any number of things. Typically, they consist of dirty-sounding misspoken phrases, potty jokes, and any possible variation of “That’s what she said,” attributed to a stupid nickname (usually something like “Big [capital letter]” or “The [Surname]ster”). The issue here isn’t whether or not these jokes are funny, because they almost never are. The important thing to note is how many of these there are. The rule of thumb goes like this: “Three dumb quotes is fine, four dumb quotes is okay, five or more dumb quotes, you’re a ridiculous, out of touch loser.”

There. That’s my list. It’s short and sweet, but I had to write this for all of the people who’ve annoyed the crap out of me lately. Facebook is a sorts of playground for me, and I don’t want to have to trip over your crap every time I want to get to the sandbox. I’m still looking for a way to kill app invites entirely. Once I find something, I’ll clue you in. Until then, avoid the DB’s and have fun. Adios!

Nonetheless, I’m sure the New York Times has some merit in their report. How has Daylight Savings Time effected you?

There are other, more important, challenges out there to wrestle with. Every once in a while I’ll run into this crazy challenge; trying to get off the phone with someone who’s oblivious to fact that you’re trying to get off the phone with them. You know those people. So, the phone rings, and you look at the caller id. The only reason you even answer the phone is because you feel like they can see you staring at the phone deciding whether or not to pick up, like they can see through the phone or something. Or, it’s blocked, and so you play phone roulette. And, then you get talked at for about an hour.

The only thing you end up saying for an entire hour is, “Uh huh, oh uh huh, yeah. Right. Uh huh.” But, based on your tone you’d think they’d be able to tell that you really don’t care what flavor of oatmeal is their dog’s favorite, but they can’t. These are usually the same friends who can’t tell when “maybe he’s just not that into you.” They just don’t notice things.

So, there’s a lot of ways you can try to get off the phone. I think we all try to do the same things. You start with the friendly, “Well, alright, I’ll let you go.” But, they don’t want to be let go. No, no. It’s alright, I just opened a 2 liter of Coke and a box of crackers… I’ve come prepared.

So, then you start making a bunch of noise and you start shuffling things around. That way, you can try this line, “Oh shoot! I gotta go, I just spilled Dr. Pepper all over my counter..” and they respond, “Guess what! That same thing just happened to me.” And now, they’re going to tell you about the time when it happened to them. A simple ploy to get off the phone ends up being a 20 minute lecture about irony and physics.

So, you finally just have to be bold about it and you say something like, “I have to go. 911 is on the other line.” But, just when you’re about to hang up, you’re so close you can taste it, and you think you’re just about to get off the line. Their son just walked in and they blurt out, “Oh wait, Johnny wants to say ‘HI” Now, you’re on the phone with a 2 year old who just likes to press the buttons.

So, now you hear a bunch of loud touch tones being fired off in your ears. And, as you try to get Johnny to stop you start sounding like a crazy person. “Johnny, put daddy back on the…. Johnny put… Johnny… Daddy… Johnny… Daddy… Johnny… Daddy… Daddy… John…..” and the phone goes dead. HALLELUJAH!

I once was the unfortunate bystander of a sad exchange between an older woman and a man with several tattoos as I was sitting at a Kaffe Bona on break at work one day. The older woman was your typical Bible thumper, armed with an entire set of scriptures, and she was really laying into the younger man with verse after verse. After a while, the younger fella had to interrupt her. “Ma’am I would be ecstatic to know about God, to understand Love. But I don’t think Love is what has brought you here to speak to me. I don’t think you have any love for me whatsoever.”

The conversation broke my heart. It lead me to understand something really important. The Gospel isn’t confusing people. This fella wanted the Gospel, he wanted love. WE are confusing people. The world doesn’t need our dress code, slick programs, or legalistic code. They need Jesus. They need the Jesus I know who’s both full of Truth and full of Grace. If we can get them to Jesus and get out of the way we’d be doing a world of good.

Sure, we can get passionate about what we believe. We can have conviction about things, but we can’t strap ourselves to the Gospel and we can’t catapult ourselves ahead of the Gospel to the point that we become the “Gatekeepers” of Faith.

You know, I sit in the back of my church every Sunday and I watch people come in the doors and find a spot to sit. I think about their lives. I honestly care about what happens to them. I want to see them become fully devoted followers of Jesus. I want to see them become Salt and Light, Passion and Fire. I want to see them stand up when it’s unsafe and breaking with trend. I think about the offering plate that we pass around. I can’t help but think that the money these people are putting in the plate is money they expect us to use on God’s behalf. Are we doing the right things with that money? Are we effective in spending their money, rather, God’s money? If we’re talking about getting new people to find the church and getting them to become more involved, I think we’re doing fine. If you’re talking about pushing people to their limits, to the point that God has to take over because no one else is there, I’m not so sure. I’m just not convinced that we’re doing everything we can do to get people to that next level – to go deeper – to pick up God’s burden for the weak and hurting.

Travis talked about someone who told him once that “Jesus didn’t say, ‘I was naked and you donated clothes to Salvation Army. I was hungry and you gave money to a soup kitchen. I was thirsty and you promoted blood:water mission.’” I think that’s a healthy perspective. We should carry the Gospel to the poor, the blind, the widow, the leper, and the devastated. I think that’s super important. Knowing who we are called to reach fuels our mandate. But, being efficient and deciding to help those who are better equipped to make an impact is different than expecting those people or organizations to fulfill our obligation to carry the cross.

I think that we should run our church in the most effective ways possible, and care for our church just like we’d care for our family business. We wouldn’t dare waste money on a project in our family business month after month if it wasn’t fulfilling the purpose we want it to fulfill. Why do we do that in our church? We would never leave our family business to run itself. We have to have managers, people who oversee the effectiveness of our business. Why are we against hiring a manager or leader of our church? I think that this is important.

We could learn a ton about how to do this the right way by looking at Solomon. Solomon’s model for diligence should be implemented in EVERY endeavor of our lives, especially the church.

I think this has turned into more about the effectiveness of the church than actually outsourcing our faith via the church, but I think the two are closely related. If the church was effective, it wouldn’t have any room for this type of thing. This kind of behavior wouldn’t be fostered by a church that’s promoting spiritual maturity. But, even with an effective church, some people will find someone to shift their responsibilities to. Look at what people have done with the government over the years. I don’t want the government validating my beliefs by mandating them as law any more than I want the church to be the sole source of spiritual influence in my life. And, while I feel that it’s important to keep my faith personal, to make sure it is founded on a life changing conversion rather than a compelling convincing, I believe that if my life really has been changed I could never keep my personal faith a private matter. So, I guess that wraps up my thoughts about this for now… Let me know what you think.

On the positive, we finished it in only 28 days! We’re two days ahead of
schedule! We’re on the road to recovery America. Before you know it, we’ll have everything back to where they belong. Anyways, Sunday is the first day of March and you know what they say about March – it comes in like a Lion and goes out like a Lamb. (That’s what she said!) And, on St. Patrick’s Day you get as drunk as a skunk (of course I don’t drink but many others of you do) and somehow even if you don’t drink at all or at least until you pass out, you wake up smelling like a Yak either way.

I don’t know about all of these expressions. You know? The one about the lion and the lamb, I think I heard that one from my mom, but she’s also the person who tried to tell me about the birds and the bees. So, I’m not really trying to take that one too far. I mean, I’ve been living on this earth for 27 years now, and I’ve not once seen a bird and a bee doing it. Ever. Not even in a cartoon.

I mean, a lot of these sayings just aren’t true. Like this one. “The quickest way get from Point A to Point B is a straight line.” There is nothing short about that distance. Whoever wrote that one has never been in line at Walmart during the first weekend of the month. That’s for sure. I hear Oprah’s only been to Walmart once in her life. Maybe she wrote that one. I don’t know. Turns out, the quickest way to get anywhere is to say, “I’m with Randy Jackson…”

Oh, and another one, how about this one? “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Yeah, a lot of people believe this one is true. They’re the ones with checkerboards shaved into their heads and wheels on their car that belong on a monster truck.

Of course, Daniel Tosh already beat me on this one, but he said it the best. “Money can’t buy happiness. Really are you an American? Money can buy happiness because it can buy a waverunner. And, have you ever seen anyone frown on a waverunner? No, Seriously, Have you? Seriously. No, seriously. Have you?”

Wow, I got off track. Good thing Glen Beck is on the air to rant and rave about the nonsense that’s going on in Washington or I’d have to break a lot of promises to good people who’ve begged me to not right a political blog. So, yeah, thank God for Fox News during the 5 o’clock hour. Yes, I just said that. Err, wrote… uhh typed.. that… yeah..

That’s when it usually happens. It’s often earlier for women and later for men, but somewhere between the ages of 20 and 32, the human animal loses its mind. The carefree swagger and optimistic grins give way to Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.” Previously pleasant, gleeful adults begin entertaining severe notions of life alteration.

The self-restrained office clerk dives headfirst into eHarmony and is married within a month, pregnant in two, and has another crazy gasp of desperation shortly after as she has an affair with the highschooler who mows her lawn. The ambitious law student sets her books on fire, moves to Greenwich Village and declares herself a “performance artist,” spending her days reciting poetry as she plays with a hacky-sack on a stage in front of 20 like-minded individuals. The ex-college athlete who was once striving for the NFL Draft abandons sports altogether to work out his right arm at the local brewery. When Twentysomethings bail on their typical lives and set a course for the bizarre, you know that the inevitable has occurred. “The Fear” has started to take hold.

Two or three generations ago, solid employment and a blissful marriage by the mid-20s was expected. People left the warm cocoons of a well-knit family armed with a decent education into the stable world of marriage and career. Not anymore. Not unless you’re my brother Justin. He’s the only Twentysomething that I know of who’s managed to put this traditional and yet somehow foreign concept to work in his life. He just turned 23 yesterday, and he’s got a lot going for him. He’s got a dependable job in a career that’s always in demand (the military) and a young marriage that started off in a humble house nestled in the confines of the neighborhood that’s helped build him into the man he is today. He now enters his future prepared. He’s a leader in his church; the literal “new breed” of deacon at the Baptist Church. He’s prepared to build a good life for his family and to give back to the community that slaved over his success, the people who bought roll after roll of cookie dough to send him to band camp, who were sending pallets of care packages and preparing feast after feast to celebrate his heroism as a veteran, and who are eager to see how he’ll return the favor.

But my brother’s success isn’t common for today. Most young adults these days get drop-kicked out of school via stopped financial aid, poor job placement opportunities, or failed career programs. And, then they’re slammed into a world where there are few expectations, limitless options, but very limited resources. The reality of daily life dilutes and sours self-confidence and the lofty goals that once filled volumes of composition books marked with dreams of grandeur and thoughts of saving the world. Not even a “Rudy and Rocky” marathon can bring some of their hopes back. This might be tolerable for a few years and for a few young adults, but eventually “The Fear” kicks in.

The fantasy of adult life (the suburban home, white picket fence, dog in the yard, 2.5 kids on a swing set playing on a manicured lawn) gives way to dread (the ball and chain, the daily bump and grind). Life becomes an endless cycle of waking up, working, going to bed, and starting all over again. Young adults experience an overwhelming, often irrational feeling that their life will never be what they once dreamed. They panic. Their fight-or-flight reaction produces a flurry of extreme choices and questionable judgment. When someone is convinced that he’s going to wind up poor, alone and inconsequential, he can do stupid things. Or he shuts down altogether and gives up. Not even marriage and a steady job safeguard young adults from this. Those who wed and achieve financial stability at a young age observe the “adventures” of their peers and often worry that they’ve become the newest victims of “The Fear.”

Few young adults seek help when this madness overtakes them. Most white-knuckle their way through, pretending everything’s fine while they’re dying inside. In a postmodern world where “everything’s cool,” nobody wants to admit they’re freaking out because of uncertainty and lack of direction. As young adult leaders, we have to raise the issue before they’ll confess their fears. Since we’ll scare them if we ask, “Have you been taken out by “The Fear” yet?” it’s better to address specific issues. Here are five things that scare the Livestrong charity bracelets smooth off most twentysomethings:

1. Never Getting Married and/or Getting Married
“No one is ever going to love me, and I’m going to be alone forever.” When you’re not single, you see this fear for the laughable, fleeting thought that it is. Many twentysomethings, however, have just left college and a dating pool of a few thousand. They’ve discovered Saturday nights alone with Netflix, Orville Redenbacher and/or Ramen noodles. The voicemail that used to be filled with exciting invitations to enjoy nights of wild adolescent antics now rings only once a week with a message from mom who always seems to have an awkward longing to wash their laundry. Their social life revolves around “colleagues” from work who have an ulcer, two mortgages, ear-hair, and 20 years of remembering the Senior Float Trip during the spring of ’89. At this point, the fear of being alone is neither funny nor fleeting.

On the other side of the aisle are people in serious relationships. Engagement and marriage are staring them in the face, and they aren’t smiling. Though these individuals are in love, they’re convinced that marriage will swallow up their youthful vitality and sentence them to a life of minivans, early bedtimes and “adult alternative” radio which involves more Michael Bolton than anyone can stomach. They seldom reveal their fears to their newly committed life long partners and they certainly won’t tell you as a leader, lest they get the “eventually, we all have to make a choice” speech.

2. Never Finding a Direction
Before entering the real world, choosing a career seems about as hard as picking out pizza toppings and deciding on whether or not you’ll add the cheesesticks for an extra $2. They soon learn differently. Once confronted with the time, sacrifice, and obstacles that stand between them and their dream career, many young adults despair. Postmodernism has fostered some positive traits, but delay of gratification isn’t one of them. Those not prepared for the long haul often make knee-jerk career choices that only add to the confusion and prolong a feeling of hopelessness. Nobody wants to be the guy who’s quit a fantastic job just because he wasn’t promoted to Senior Manager within his first 2 years of employment, but it happens to a lot of people. Stranger things have happened.

3. Never Finding an Identity
Young adults spent their late teens and early 20s basking in the freedom and acceptance of their culture. They got tattoos, dressed funky, and tossed around big ideas about changing the world, marching on the beaches to save the whales, fighting for the free-ranged chicken, and a whole host of other things that were once the target recipients of some very misguided passion. Now all a sudden, someone wants them to get up early, wear a suit, and cut their hair. A new husband finds that his wife won’t allow his vintage Star Wars poster in the front room, or in the basement for that matter. No, she doesn’t care if the basement is mold-infested and practically inhabitable. She won’t have it anywhere in her domain.

See, people who’ve never had serious demands placed on their identity encounter new expectations from every corner of their life during this period. A recent study found that identity confusion now persists into the early 30s. This can lead to depressed passivity or angry rebellion, but mostly it just feeds the fear of never figuring out who they are.

4. Living in Uncertain Times
In the last decade, war and terrorism and poverty happened in “other countries.” Then evil people started flying planes into buildings, and the economy took a sharp downturn for the worst. When you can no longer count on your own safety (or the safety of your money and job) in the most powerful and free country in the world, there’s not much you can count on. And, when you have politicians gambling the future of your country on legislation no cared to read, it gets very difficult to have any faith in the times.

5. Uncertainty About God’s Will
Young adulthood is usually where the existential doo-doo hits the fan. In the warm security of family, church and school, it’s easy to believe that God has a plan for your life. When you can’t get a date, a job, a car loan, or a sane roommate, faith becomes harder to sustain. Many young adults have never had to trust God through adversity. It’s not fun, especially the first time around.

Into this fear festival you stroll, the leader who might not be much closer to overcoming these fears than the people you serve. And did I mention that they won’t admit their fears to you? Unless you take action to address these fears, it won’t matter if your young adult group is seeker friendly and has a cool name like “3D.” One of the reasons that young adult ministries are few and poorly attended is that they seldom provide the kind of security that young adults secretly crave. Unless twentysomethings see an opportunity for romance or job networking, most will move on, searching for an anchor in the storm.

Unless you make your group that anchor. Unless you can provide young adults a place to recover from fear and renew their strength. Here are a few things you can do to tackle “The Fear” directly and make your young adult group a haven:

CONFESS YOUR OWN FEARS
When I was in sixth grade, my football coach told us about how scared he was when he first played football. He then asked us to raise our hand if we’d ever felt afraid during a game. We all raised our hands. He nodded and assured us that it was normal. He said he would help us in any way he could and welcomed us to come talk to him whenever we felt afraid.

After Coach told us that, we became the most fearless football team ever to take the field. The smallest guys barreled into opponents twice their size with wild abandon. I actually snarled at a massive linebacker who’d taunted and tormented me all season. As long as we knew that what we felt was normal and help was available, we could play boldly.

Realizing that fear is normal removes the shame that only intensifies it. A good way to help young adults with this is to share some of your fears, especially those you had (or still have, if you happen to be in the age group) during this phase of life. Sometimes the strongest leader is the one who can show weakness. You don’t have to confess your darkest fears, but let them see that you’re human and they’re not freaks. Then let them know you’re available to help and listen. Knowing that will be sufficient comfort for many. People jump higher when they know there’s a safety net below.

PROVIDE MENTORS WHO “GET IT”
There’s great value in a mentor who’s 20 or 30 years older, but young adults benefit most from one who’s five to 10 years older. Provide each a mentor with similar interests or characteristics but at a more stable place in life. The mentor will have a lot of empathy and the “mentee” will see that better things are just around the corner.

PROVIDE MEANING AND PURPOSE
Bowling, coffee and rafting trips have their place, but young adults need a cause to sink their teeth into. They’re better equipped than the teenagers we usually shove into mission work. Make them responsible for a challenging situation that involves intense relationships and high stakes. Sign them up to be Big Brothers or Big Sisters and have regular meetings to discuss and pray over the experience. Provide aid and outreach to groups that intimidate others, such as addicts or homosexuals. It will be difficult, but they need a challenge more than they need another trip to Denny’s. Although, that’s a delicious alternative if you’ve put out all the small fires in your neck of the woods.

PROVIDE A PLACE
Every corner of the universe has a space dedicated to teenagers, most of whom prefer the house of a friend with a swimming pool. Young adults are in just as much need of a place to gather. All you need is a room with a couch, a coffee maker, and a couple of computers with fast Internet connections and a laser printer. That way, people can claim that they come to “work” when they really don’t want to be home alone. Give them keys, make them responsible for it and install a doorknob that gives an electric shock to anyone under 20. Then sit back and watch a family grow.

TEACH THEM ABOUT REAL FAITH
Stop reassuring them that things will get easier. God loves them and will look after them, but He won’t drop a job, a spouse, or an identity into their lap. There will be tough times and uncertainty ahead. Teach them how to experience God in the midst of that. Study Psalms 30-40 with them, and show them how David freaked out on a regular basis because he couldn’t see God’s hand. And this is the guy who dropped Goliath. Help them develop a faith that’s not dependent on good fortune. A mature relationship with God means finding His presence in the darkest times. After all, Christ is the anchor that they really need. Once they learn to experience God’s love and peace in the midst of uncertainty, “The Fear” won’t be as scary anymore. And when God’s blessings finally come, the joy will be greater than ever.

This blog was adapted from a Neue Ministry Blog written by Stephen W. Simpson. And, while I’ve changed his work quite a bit, the original idea of writing a blog about young adult ministry and the concept of “The Fear” are originally his ideas.

For those of you who might still be in the dark about this, you write things like, “When I was 10 years old I pulled out my own tooth,” or “I have a fear of staplers.” They’re personal to you. Of course, these are just examples. It’s just whatever you feel like sharing.

But before you start, let’s get a few things straight.  First of all, it’s one thing to share. But, it’s another thing to share too much. I don’t even know why this started. I mean, it’s one thing to say, “I like to watch Wheel of Fortune.” But, it’s an entirely different thing to say, “I like to watch Wheel of Fortune naked.” But, it’s good know because now I can avoid a few of my friends’ houses around 7:30.

Another big problem is that they call it “25 Random Things About Me” not “25 Random Interesting Things About Me.” Because, if it was Random Interesting things, the title might not be 25 things. There might be one or two things. Maybe that’s all you’d have to share. You wouldn’t need 25 things. Like, “I have a tail.” Boom. You’re done. That’s all.

Another thing, before you send it off, you should write it down. Because, you’re sending it off to people you don’t even know in some cases. These people aren’t looking for random things about you, they’re being bombarded by them. And so, here’s how you know if it’s okay to share what you have. Would you like to call me on the phone and tell me the same exact thing. Like, “Hey Dave, guess what? I have two coffee tables.” Either I’m going to say, “Oh sweet! Please continue,” or I’m going to say, “call me back when you can write with your feet.” You know? Is it that important to share that with me?

So, since this is what people are doing, I’ve decided I’m going to play along and give you all a more deserving list of 25 Random & Interesting (at least, to me) Things.

1. I have been to Asia, and I’ve seen a giant ship in the river that looked like a Dragon. Kinda like this one here.

2.  When I was 21, I met a woman named Christa Wimer who ignited my passion for Creative Ministry.  I don’t think she knows it, but she inspired me to start my ministry as a graphic artist and web developer.  I am now the Creative Ministries Director for the Oklahoma Assembly of the Church of God because of her influence.

3.  I know how to create an exchange active sync partnership on any Microsoft Windows Mobile device that can gather all of your calendar, contact, email, and tasks in one place so that you can access them from your phone.  I also know how to create similar partnerships on Palm and Blackberry devices and I can even set it up for your iPhone.  With this setup, you’ll never have to worry about losing your information ever again.

4. When I was in 8th Grade, the only girl I ever liked smashed my heart into a million little pieces during an Academic Bowl Tournament  (Yes, I was that geeky, even then.)  She taught me the lesson that helped me change from a shy, awkward little boy into a bold, courageous, confident, and daring man.  Amy, thanks for the help.

5. My favorite romance flick is Serendipity, and I loosely agree with any philosophy that would bring Kate Beckinsale into my life.  On a more serious note, I agree with the movie that God predestined for me to share my life with only one woman, and I’m glad I’ve found her and I’ll never stop pursuing her because she captivates me and consumes my heart in ways I can’t even explain in words.

6. My favorite NFL football team growing up was the Los Angeles Rams because in 1989, Jim Everett came to my elementary school.  I was hooked ever since, and yes, I even rooted for them last year when they were 2-14.

7. I met Bob Barker at Tulsa Southern Hills golf course during the PGA US Open Tournament in 2000. And, the only thing that I could get out of my mouth was, “Holy Cow! It’s Bob Barker.”

8. Some people claim that they built this city on Rock n Roll, but that’s not true at all. I built this city on SimCity 2000 in 8th Grade.

9. I had already pledged and was accepted to my fraternity before the end of high school. DCE forever.

10. I have a deep desire to be a TV Talk Show host or personality.  I think there’s a future for me in late night television.  Seriously.

11. I was one of the only boys in my Camp Fire group, and was a counselor and canoeing instructor for Camp Fire Boys and Girls at Camp Waluhili when I was in high school.

12. I can actually ride my bike with no handlebars, but I was known more amongst the neighborhood kids when I was younger for riding a bike with no seat.  Unfortunately, someone stole it about 2 weeks after I got the bike and I never retrieved or replaced it.

13. I would be addicted to Grasshopper Big Trains if I were rich. At $7 a drink, they’re not the cheapest beverage out there. But, I still enjoy them from time to time.

14. I once fell off the 2nd story balcony of my hotel room in Branson.  I fell asleep on the wide banister and the next thing I remember was waking up on the hood of a Dodge Neon.  No bruises or injuries, but a lot of cash in repairs.

15. I used to write professionally for an online relationship site for single people looking to find a mate on Yahoo!.

16. I have been around the world and have traveled to many countries, but I have never been to Disney Land or Disney World.  This isn’t interesting, it’s just sad.

17. I am not a superhero, but I play one on YouTube.

18. I started a nonprofit organization that was helping at-risk students stay in school.  I suspended the program when the principal of our flagship school blamed our program for over 90 students failing Algebra during our first year of support.  For the record, out of the 35 students we assisted, only 2 had below a “C” average in Algebra at the end of their coursework.

19. I completely understand all aspects of MPEG 4 Video Compression and Direct Broadcast Satellite signals delivered via RG6 coaxial, Y/Pr/Pb, and HDMI cable systems.  That’s uber geek talk for “I used to work for Dish Network and I can make a satellite receiver out of spare parts from the hardware store.”

20. I have been skydiving.  It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done prior to getting married and having a baby.  In fact, getting married and having a baby is a lot like falling out of an airplane.  I’ll explain that sometime later.  Remind me.

21. If I were small enough, I would want to own a MiniCooper.  But, since I’m fat, I drive a Ford Taurus.  (This is neither interesting, nor is it random.  I apologize, but I’m close to 25 and I’m running out of steam.)

22. I had never worked with a Mac computer prior to last year.  But, now that I have, I know just about everything you can learn about them without owning one (too poor), and I secretly want to become a Genius at the Apple Store.  Okay, it’s not that big of a secret.  Who wouldn’t want to work at the Apple Store?  Seriously.

23. I have double jointed knees, ankles, and wrists.  That comes in handy often.

24. While my physique doesn’t say “marathon man,” I really want to get a bike and ride with my wife sometime this summer.  I love riding and exploring parts of the city that we haven’t seen together.

25. It is my 18 year goal to be elected the President of my daughter’s PTA or Booster Club Organization at least one time during her time in school.  I feel this is important because my father was absent and never around.  In fact, after 27 years, I’ve yet to meet him.  I never want my daughter to even have a second thought about my commitment to her education and her academic achievements.

So, there you have it.  No, it’s not a full list of interesting things.  But, it’s better than the first list.  And, while I’m sure none of you care about even 1 random thing about me, I hope you get a better understanding of me after you’ve read this.

These beauts are my new shoes.  The wife and I voted this morning on an economic stimulus bill for the South Tulsa/Jenks district and approved a good amount of funds for the Shoe Carnival on South Deleware next to Radio Shack and the Dollar Tree.

We originally went in to get my daughter some new shoes.  Because, at this age, she’s growing like a weed.  And, she’s out of things just about the time she’s into them. But, Daddy hasn’t had new shoes in over 2 years and a 45% discount on $100 shoes that feel like they were made by a group of angelic elves in Heaven – slash – The North Pole just for your feet isn’t something you pass by.  So, we did it.  We made a great buy.  So, while they’re not the Steve Madden’s I had on my Wish List, they’re right up there next to them in style and comfort.  So… Not too bad of a birthday gift.  Oh, and we ate at Red Robin for lunch.  Great Day… Great Day, indeed.

There’s so much pressure to have fun on your birthday. I failed miserably to provide my wife with any kind of meaningful birthday last year. I was part of the leadership team during State Youth Convention and that meant I was cranking at 100 miles a minute on my wife’s birthday. I’m sure she was bummed. Now, it’s my turn to be bummed on my birthday.

I posted a few items that I wanted to get to start my 27th year of life with, none of which I expect to actually receive, but would love to be surprised to see in my living room on Tuesday morning. Several items are expensive, they’re things that I definitely could get some use out of, but no one I know carries that much coin. Maybe I was a little too much like the banking industry, looking for a bailout, but I was hoping for more than a high-five and a “good game” for my birthday. Oh well.

More significant things than receiving a wonderful Neue Ministry Resources Pack have happened this week. I have renewed hope in God’s faithfulness in my life, and I have a renewed perspective of where God has me at the current moment. (Not that I wouldn’t love to get the Neue Resource Pack, I just don’t expect anyone getting it for me. After all, it’s $199.)

We went to Kari Jobe’s CD release party last Tuesday night, and as the rain came down outside – drenching the road to the point we couldn’t see past our windshield wipers – I felt like more was washing away than the salt and sand from this winter’s ice preparations. She shared a story that hit home with me. She shared that she had the opportunity to release this CD over 3 years ago but felt God had given her a stop sign. She was car-hopping at Sonic that night and served a double jalapeno cheeseburger to Rebecca St. James, who happened to be someone she really admired in the music ministry. So, she went home that night and she wrote a song about trusting God’s faithfulness even when it’s hard. The song is “You Are For Me.” And her words made me weep as I stood there listening to her sing.

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

I have listened to that song nearly a million times since that night, and every time I hear it my heart softens.  I was so broken.  I still am.  I know that God is for me, but I also know that things aren’t what they should be now.  I mean, I work for Sprint in a call center.  And, I work as a Blackberry tech and a PC Tech and a Web Developer.  All of those things I love doing, but they’re not my calling.  They’re not what God’s called me to.  He’s called me to minister to young people, to be an example of His love, and how He has plan to be mighty in their lives.  I know that He will be faithful to complete His work in me, but it’s so hard to “serve cheeseburgers”  when you’re meant to be a king maker.

I’m going to be doing a few things this week that make very little sense to me or anyone else I know, but they are things I feel God is leading me to do.  If you’re praying this week, pray that God will keep me strong and give me wisdom as I start Year 27 of this wild journey He has me on.  Thanks.